King of the Playground by Phyllis Naylor

This book is available in our library. "I urge you to get the book to read to your children, whether they are on the giving or receiving end of such playground maneuvers. Kevin's Dad plays such an important role in this whole experience. Rather than getting upset or
involved, he merely asks the questions that lead Kevin to consider what he
could do to respond should a wild threat ever be carried out."


KING OF THE PLAYGROUND By Phyllis Naylor, Atheneum, New York, 1991

Too frequently these days we hear parents and teachers discussing bullying,
even cyber-bullying, with often-tragic results. 

What we should consider is that preschoolers and primary-aged children have
always struggled with concepts of power and strength over others, and how to
respond when another tries to exert it over them. 

This book explores the dilemma Kevin feels when he encounters Sammy on the
playground. Even though Kevin wants to go down the slide headfirst, Sammy
firmly asserts that Kevin can't come in, as Sammy is King of the Playground.

His bold threats of what he will do if he sees Kevin on the slide sends
Kevin home. When he tells his father what Sammy said if he went on the slide
(Sammy would get a rope and tie up his hands and feet so tight he would
never get loose) Dad's response is perfect: "Wow. Really? And what would you
be doing while Sammy was tying you up? Just sitting there?"

After a few such encounters, and with Dad's questions helping Kevin come up
with real solutions, Kevin feels sufficiently emboldened to face Sammy down
on the playground. 

When Sammy threatens to put Kevin in a cage with bears in it, Kevin calmly
continues to come into the sandbox, saying, "Then I'll ride on their backs
and teach them tricks." 

With increasingly far-fetched threats and creative solutions, Kevin feels
strong enough to sit down and begin to play. I won't spoil the ending, but
will tell you that both boys learn something about themselves and others. 

I urge you to get the book to read to your children, whether they are on the
giving or receiving end of such playground maneuvers. Kevin's Dad plays such
an important role in this whole experience. Rather than getting upset or
involved, he merely asks the questions that lead Kevin to consider what he
could do to respond should a wild threat ever be carried out. 

When Kevin came up with his answer, Dad responded, "Sure, that's one thing
you could do," and left him to go back to face Sammy with the strength of
his own idea. In this time of hyper-parenting, such a by-stander role often
does not occur to parents. 

When a similar playground power struggle erupted recently among some
four-year-old girls, the mother of one immediately called the mother of the
instigator and told her she had to stop her daughter from saying such mean
things to the other children. 

She then called the other mothers and got them to agree to tell their
children to boycott the offender. 

Needless to say, none of the children learned any new social skills from
this, nor did they develop any strategies for dealing with such future
occurrences-a lose-lose situation. A healthy outcome is for everyone to
learn that naked power is an unhealthy way to interact, and that abject fear
never gets a person anywhere. 

To accomplish this, children need to be guided to consider possible
responses that can often be creative and imaginative, and are within their
power to carry out. 

Strengthening children to face up to difficult situations is a parent's best
task. 

Remember, you won't be there every time your child runs into the King of the
Playground--or the office, or the neighborhood. 

  _____  

(c) Growing Child 2011